that's my boy

So I have two children, a little girl named Rebekah who is 4 and a little boy named Ethan who is 2. They both are amazing creatures and so much fun to watch discover the world. There's something I've noticed about both of them lately and it's beginning to help me understand the nature of selfishness better.

First off, I'm not going to act as if my kids have got it all figured out, they are just as selfish as the next kid. When one picks up a toy that hasn't been played with in six months, the other immediately wants it. They tease each other, Ethan pulls Rebekah's hair, Rebekah bosses Ethan around. They have their difficulties. But they also have those moments where you just know God has worked a bit and you see glimpses of how we all should be.

Every morning Rebekah typically gets up before Ethan. She busts into our room and asks if it's okay if she goes out and watches some TV. Usually, if it's after 7:15 or so, we say yes and she gets to watch a little Disney Channel. Usually around 8:00 Ethan gets up. He typically is slower to awaken and likes to cuddle a bit. What's funny to see is that after hugging whomever gets him up, he likes to go and greet the other two people. Then he pops back into the kitchen looking for sippy cup of milk.

Here's where it's fun. Ethan gets his cup and then immediately says, "Buba" (his name for Rebekah) and waits for a cup for Rebekah as well and then runs out to deliver it to her with a big grin on his face. But it's not just for that one time a day. Anything you give him food/drink wise he immediately asks for some for Rebekah. And he's not doing the whole "sure dad, give it to me, and I'll give it to her; wink, wink" deal. He really takes it to her. And he loves it.

Rebekah, meanwhile, is really beginning to enjoy sharing her stuff with Ethan because she realizes how excited he is to get to play with her. She says, "Ethan wants to be just like me because I'm the big sister." Wow. I just love it.

Anyway, these moments remind me of how beautiful unselfishness really is and how rewarding it is to share something with someone else. It doesn't have to be anything they need, just that you know you can make them happy and are willing to do so. Sometimes Philip Gabriel pops in on Wednesdays and brings me a cheeseburger from McDonald's. I don't need it but I love it when he does that. Just a nice chat over a cheap burger in my office.

So why do we struggle with this so much as we get older. We know that selfishness, in most areas (there are always exceptions), is improper, is counter to God's mission on this earth. And all I can figure is that it is the nature of our rebellion against God. We want to keep things for ourselves because things aren't permanent, they pass, so we exert control over things we really can't control, deceiving ourselves into believing that we have control.

God seems to constantly call His people away from control toward faith. And that faith is to help them grow in holiness, not to just get them to heaven one day or forgive them, but to earnestly help them grow to be more like Jesus. It's actually possible. We're not just dirty sinners who can't do anything but sin, we actually can grow in holiness and purity, giving our hearts and minds to God to restore and make new. And when we let go of those things over which we have no control we see how real our faith can become and how much joy there is in giving ourselves away to others. Whether it is helping someone in need, loving a friend, or getting married; giving ourselves to others means the possibility of pain or rejection but it also means the possibility of experiencing a deeper love and connection with our Creator.

I'd like to think that God still teaches us through the actions of children and Rebekah and Ethan are constant reminders to me that my life is not my own, but belongs to my Creator and Lord. I hope that I can grow in holiness, unselfishness, and grace so that I can help them do the same.